Lesson #11: You are responsible

“Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom.”
― Viktor E. Frankl

I just started a new book that I pre-ordered and which just came out today. It’s called Hero on a Mission by Donald Miller, and it talks about different responses to life in terms of The Victim, The Villain, The Hero and The Guide. We have all these parts in us and, as the title suggests, the book suggests taking the role of The Hero and making our lives mean something rather than allowing The Victim or The Villain in us to take charge.

Miller mentions the impact that logotherapy, which was developed by Viktor Frankl, had in helping him take charge of his life. He gives an entertaining take on how he lived in a victim state in his 20s. I am too familiar with the feelings of helplessness and hopelessness that are typical of experiencing a victim-like experience of life. This has been especially the case in my endeavours to create and run my own business. In fact, I’d say that setting up a business has put me in a cauldron where victim, hero and villain have all had big parts to play.

Falling into ‘victim’ mode happens unconsciously, and given that it is a helpless state, coming out of it is not easy. For me, the process of setting up and running my own business has taken me on a journey into victim mode again and again. I see this journey towards creating a meaningful impact and contribution to the world as a process of, and contribution to my evolution. I get to take on the role of hero and guide as I offer my work to others. And there .. I’ve just found a way to remind myself why I’m on this journey.

In order to rescue ourselves when we fall into victim mode — which we all will from time to time — we need to separate ourself from our feelings and become a witness. This is the ‘space’ where we can choose to see things differently, to to respond differently. It is a journey from the unconscious, automatic responses to life, to a conscious choice in terms of how we respond.

Let’s do it!