Lesson #28: Self-love requires acceptance

There’s so much I could write about self love. I think it is perhaps one of the biggest lessons we come to earth to learn.

Given that ‘we are all one’ (I believe this), then self love is the only way we can truly love others. The late Thich Nhat Hanh went as far as to say that

To love without knowing how to love wounds the person we love.

I see this as particularly relevant for parents who believe they love their children and then act (unconsciously) in a way that harms their children. It is part of our human journey since we aren’t born of enlightened parents.

Self love has been a huge journey for me and one that continues and which I see as important to model for others.

Last night in my exhaustion I didn’t write my ‘lesson of the day’ .. although I am typing it up now, quickly, before I go off for a day of dancing at a 5 Rhythms workshop called ‘Shadow and Light’.

I suppose in one sense I was honouring my tiredness and need for sleep by not writing (though that would be true of every night I write these lessons). Also, I didn’t feel like writing something ‘bad’, simply for the sake of writing — there is some ego in there are also some wisdom. Yes, I was questioning the whole basis of these daily lessons (is it a challenge for me or a gift for others??). And now, as I write the lesson after a night of sleep, I am honouring myself and my commitment, which makes me feel better about myself. This is an act of self love. I certainly was feeling a sense of unease at having missed my first day this year.

Truly, I see the journey I have been on the past few years as a journey of self love .. in a roundabout way. Mostly it has been a journey of understanding myself and trying to find a way I could exist in the world that didn’t feel like it completely drained me (and ideally which would inspire me to jump out of bed each morning). I’m almost there. The journey started, to some extent, with discovering the Enneagram and finally feeling a sense of understanding about myself and others. That was in late 2014. It’s been a seven year journey through all sorts of practices, courses, programs and life adventures. I had become so lost I had a long way to journey.

And perhaps these lessons, and this act of self love (by writing about self love and fulfilling this commitment to myself) are part of my gift on this ‘hero’s journey’ I have been on — this journey of understanding myself, others, and my purpose on earth.

Understanding is love. If you can’t understand you cannot love. When you understand yourself, you love yourself.
- Thich Nhat Hanh